On Marriage and Love

I am, they say at the ripe age to get married and settled down. Candidly speaking personally I have never given much thought to the idea, I never found any reason to waste my precious time on such trivial subject.  . But, yes, at times the thought creeps in. Repeated persuasions can do the worst of the psychological damages.

As on my marriage all I know, its that internally I am resisting the idea. Logically speaking I am not prepared for it. For one, I am uncertain about my financial stability. Second, I am uncertain about the course of my future (which is because I am uncertain about my purpose and I am looking for something better). Third, I am not sure if I can sustain the burden of responsibilities, expectations and aspirations that come with the relations. Fourth, I do not think that any person will sustain with my eccentricities and vices. Fifth, I think I need time and as such I feel I’ve crossed the ripe age. 

So here in the black and white I can put five valid sound reasons why I am taking a break and deciding as of now against the argument. And if you note, I am uncertain about for all the important things that make up ones life and even a day and I am aware about that fact ! .

And I would appreciate if some one can give me five better reasons for any one to get married. Let me list a few that I get.

The only conspicuous argument that I have found is that one requires a long term partner to give you a shoulder when the ripe age is gone and you are just hanging on waiting for sands of time to wash away your existence (Bingo!), when you are crippled and senile. If that is the reason for which should get into that institution of marriage, I would better opt out (for that matter sometimes “drop out” is an alluring idea). But, picturing the future when you are incapacitated mentally and physically and are ever so lonely is the only strikingly naked truth that which sends butterflies fluttering in my stomach. But, tell me honestly, does this is argument sound appealing to base any of your decisions. Pragmatic it is, but, does it have even a slight pinch of passion. It does not. Here lies a choice and hence the trouble and you know which way I shall sway. And tell me why in gods name do they need a opposite gender bound to you to take care of you. Where will be the friends? (Off course crippled !). But does it not raise the question on the credibility of friendships!.

So is it love?. Here it is the most complex and yet the most interesting of the subjects. All though it is does not take great horse sense discovering that the correlation between marriage and love is not universal especially in India where the gender ratio is disappointingly pathetic. Any ways the question is Love does it exist? In my opinion yes it does. It is a wonderful feeling and those who are loved or are in love are the blessed one. Then the question is – is the how much of it constitutes in a marriage. Arranged marriages as is implied and for all practical reasons do not lay any foundations for marriage. In those it is nurtured later on. As I perceive your choice is too narrow, the decision is mostly based on long-term stability and security of the boy and the girl. For the couples it is driven by desires (-applies to predominately Indian males ), excitement, anxiety and to a little extent dreams, which off course like most things in due course of time get faded and the only residue is mutual responsibilities (good thing), and hidden sufferings to be passed on the progeny.

Do love-marriages constitute any love?. Yeah of course dude! .Then tell me if you were in love, then why marry? Is it because of the social norm- then why did they have this social norm? Was it a guarantee (a society cover how ever weak) against the social vices and insecurities that have crept in. And if at all it was to impose a moral obligation or a deterrent then why was such a deterrent required in first place?- to put it bluntly it was to put a curb on the most profound of human thought process ( for I refuse to put the way – to give stability to society and stuff). Most of all I think it is just a formality which comes with defined roles, freedom and responsibilities. And in the middle of all this pandemonium I think love-marriage is compromise made to assuage the society but nothing wrong with it after all if every ones happy whats wrong?. My point is I do not see any strong causal rational linkage between love and marriage. Still as for love it is a wonderful feeling, exciting and adventurous, you just do not know how deep the rabbit hole goes! ( Will give you a hint it goes to H ) . Still its worth a ride!


Finally, let us find the reason why this institution was ever erected. Eve is the culprit – right answer! and we are all here to suffer so why make another progeny suffer. Why pass on the punishment? As the agent said, Is the only purpose of human kind to spread like virus and consume all the resources?.


Anyways, the only meaningful idea I have found is that-life is a gift given by mother-nature and that this gift should be embraced and taken as it is. Agreed life is a gift and it is beautiful. The fact that remains in the oblivion is that, life in its entirety with all the profound human feelings, good or bad, is a gift and is beautiful if perceived that way. We were all born free and all free men/women/eunuch have their own choice. The only responsibility is do not infringe on other peoples freedom. I have a choice. And with out writing all the hogwash above I could claim, I have made a choice and I will exercise it on my whims and fancies.

I am not afraid lying old, shriveled, sick, tired, lonely and waiting. But I am scared of the pairs of wrinkled wet eyes that can change it all. I am the progeny.

Some one said, “Civilization, after all, is defined by what we forbid, more than what we permit”.

P.S: After a lot of deliberations I can tell you there is no friendship, love, marriage nothing- all you have is compromises, politics, bosses, sick work loaded Monday mornings.
More of the above discourses shall be continued……when I am waiting for the trucks to be loaded and dispatched.
Also, my apologies, if I have hurt the sentiments of any one. And also for people who might get influenced by my ideas- You need to visit a psychiatrist and if you find one giving therapy for free please do tell me.